Was I happy to get your letter this afternoon! I have been awfully tired all day.
You must have had a swell time with Tommy. I hope you and Maryellen come through the ordeal of the new jobs with flying colors.
OK on Charlotte’s info. Don’t see your mother or the battle-axe under any circumstances. It would upset you too much and I don’t want that to happen. Further, no matter who it is, with the exception of Doris and Cliff and the Huntoons and Rae, forget that you ever knew me. With your mother and the battle-axe conspiring, god knows what will come of it. I can’t see that they have a leg stand to stand on, but let’s not give them that leg by saying anything that could be used the wrong way. I’m glad Charlotte is on your side, but be damned careful.
The PO box is probably $1.25 per quarter. I’ll pay it gladly if it is convenient for you. Ok on Skip—thanks.
I shall try to get a coat, when and if I get one, which you will like. You’re right, it probably will be around for some time.
If possible, forget about your stuff out in the sticks. I have a hunch that your maw will be so glad when you definitely settle down that she will be real nice to all concerned. If nothing else, I’m sufficiently like Wayne to cut some ice eventually. We can worry about that later on. By no means tell Pop (yours) anything. After all, what he doesn’t know, your mother can’t make him tell.
The snap better look like you!
Apparently Andy is ok, but lets not give anyone anything more to keep secret than they already know. I’ll be damn glad when we can do what we please and not have to shush it up.
Boy, what a letter. So bright and pleasant. But I’M tired and it’s late.
Darling—go to Webb immediately, and I don’t mean maybe. I’m not scared, but I want both of us to be thoroughly cognizant of the situation. To be blunt, I doubt if you have tb and I’m not sure that he has. But syphilis has a habit of frequently popping out in all of tb’s symptoms. Either of the two are highly contagious and terribly dangerous unless caught in the early stages. A matter of a few weeks really means something. I don’t want to frighten you, baby girl, but I don’t want any more chances to be taken. I should have insisted on this nearly a year ago, but we kept putting it off. We have no excuse now and every reason to be concerned. I want you to go to Webb before the week is over and have a Wasserman test as well as the other two which go with it (Kahn and something else) in addition to a check for tb. The latter consists of a scratch which is examined three days later. From this they can tell whether or not to x-ray. I’m not losing a bit of sleep over it, and I am not frightened in the slightest, but I want to hear from you that you have seen him at least by the end of the week if not sooner. I have $30 in cash now and am getting a check for approximately $90 on Wednesday. I shall not need more than a few dollars of the letter and I insist that you consider the full 90 at your disposal for anything which comes up. With that much financial backing and with what is to come, you need have no fear that even if you do have anything, which I don’t believe you have, that we can swing a complete cure in a reasonable time.
Thank heaven you didn’t bring back any children with you, although I am not sure that even that would have made any difference, but if the—won’t call him that in type—gave you anything else, I want to assist in getting rid of it at the earliest possible time. This has been terribly frank, but we’ve wasted too much time already. If anything is wrong, that last year will cost us a fortune in lost time.
No matter what comes up, I shall never take back anything which I said on the lake front or at anytime since then. I’m afraid that no matter how you look at it, simply stated, I love you.
But please don’t stall honey. Get on your horse and get it over with. We shall both feel a lot better regardless of the outcome. If we wait until the 19th, we shall have so many other things that we will wait a couple of more months after that and it may never get done until it may be too late.
Well, snuff of that stuff.
I’m going to get a pair of cords for hiking tomorrow. Aiken wants me for lunch tomorrow and I shall probably be there through supper Sunday. You know, honey bunch, I think the man likes me almost as much as I like him. I’ve done more studying this week, but little writing. That is, little outside of a small item I am accumulating for surprise and amazement. It will take months to finish and shall be short and sweet. Hope you like it, although you can’t even guess what it is.
Pleasant dreams, darling girl. I shall write about my week-end after it is over.
You would scare me half to death, you little rascal. I’m yet weak. I saw the large envelope, realized what was in it even before opening it, and was sure that something had happened. I’m ok now, but I thought I would pass out between the verification of the contents of the large envelope and the rapid survey of the content of the smaller one to make sure that everything was all right. I think it is a good idea, and shall keep everything that you send to me.
I have two letters to answer, so I shall start on the one I received last Saturday, just as I was leaving.
Wait until after the next pay day and the result of Webb’s exam before we decide on the PO box. I haven’t sent much to the office, because although they are friendly now, even your best friends will go out of their way to help develop a good scandal. Doris and Cliff can be trusted and the postman’s word might not carry much weight against theirs.
The pictures are swell. May I be terribly contrary? Now that the page boy is longer than before, it looks like it would look better without the top-not! Yes, I know—you wish I would make up my mind. What I had in mind was this. Wait until it is about 2 inches longer, and then get a full permanent, yet keeping the page boy style. I have seen a couple which were rather attractive. It nearly drives me wild to see it but not be able to touch it. It’s the wrong thing to write, but I’ve wanted you so badly the last couple of days that I’ve actually been sick. I never thought I would get that way about anyone. Let me know what you think of abandoning the poor little top-not and if possible, send me another snap without it. Boy, am I getting possessive! I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to hold out without a new picture, large one, but I shall try to wait until it can be done without exciting too much comment. Destroy the rest, hell. I’m keeping all four.
OK on the Tuesday appointment with Webb. You can forget most of the stuff I said in the other letter (mailed Saturday).
I am enclosing the $5 for Mom’s birthday and shall either enclose or mail the card under separate cover. I suppose a buck’s worth of flowers and four in cash would do the trick. And I want your name on the card. Mother might as well get used to it. If Nena and Chucky are all remorseful, you may let them in on the same fin if you deem it wise. I’ll leave that up to you.
Let me know a couple of letters before the stamps run out.
I left here for Aikens Saturday morning and the snow was just covering everything, although it was melting rapidly. When I got to Bound Brook, they had about four inches of it. Aikens live in about an eight room house a number of miles out from Bound Brook in a rural town of Martinsville. The house is on the side of a hill and the grounds include a couple of orchards and a woods.
We spent Saturday afternoon in an eight mile hike through the snow. Then, after cocktails, we had dinner. He and I played a game or two of chess and then hit the hay. Sunday morning we spent in his lab calibrating some test equipment. Sunday afternoon was spent in shoveling snow and another shorter hike.
Mrs. Aiken is in much better health than when she was in the middlewest. Maybe it’s good for little girls to come out East. They have the cutest seven months old dachshund (bought, not produced) that I have ever seen. Schnitzle and I had a swell time. It was a most pleasant week-end.
I’ve got to stop, Darling, as I have a go-awful gut ache. I must write Mrs. Aiken a line of thanks and then scram out and see if some food will alleviate the pain. It’s nothing more serious than an excess of gas, so don’t worry. I’ll write more later and mail this tonight.
Later. Snope—I can’t take it. Simple little tummy ache hurt so bad I couldn’t even work on Mrs. Aiken’s letter. So here I am back with my darling.
I finished “The Ends of the Earth” and left it for Aikens to read. They invited me to spend any week-end I could with them and not to even bother to warn them. I shan’t be quite so brazen, but I guess they do like me. The Doc is settling down and actually wants to buy a house! This is unheard of, but give me hope that he won’t be so shocked when I break the news that I am going to get married. He feels that I should take a year off for my last year of school. Perhaps that is the best plan. I do know that we will get along faster and farther if we do that than if we break down and try to mix our first couple of years together with the strain of school. But we have more pressing and immediate problems to consider now, so we shall make no decision on the former subject until the latter difficulties are cleared up.
3/13/39 (2nd Letter)
Horsesaz:
You must be a genius. I was going to type that longhand the second time I sent it to you, but I had to give up because I couldn’t read it!
Had a swell time over the week-end with Dr. Aiken and his wife. They have a dachshund puppy which reminded me a great deal of snooky. Outside of getting part of the blizzard which you people hooked, the weather was perfect. Nevertheless, we put in a long hike and a short one, as well as a stiff back’s worth of snow shoveling.
Am I holding out on you? Well, not exactly. You see, there are some things that we older men are a little afraid to mention in front of our idolizing younger generation, much less write them down so that they may study them. Listen, my fran, with my genius for getting into trouble for an example, without any apparent genius for getting out of it again, you would be sunk, being married to half the girls in the USA in six months time. Seriously, this is the first time I haven’t been careful about my writing. I could probably be blackmailed a thousand different ways. But I guess the girl loves me. She sends them all back for me to keep for her! (and I actually keep them).
I wouldn’t expect you to drive to Philly. That’s a boilermaker’s job, and they are notoriously hardy drivers (non-stop from PU to NYC in three shifts of drivers!) You’re nuts on the cost, though. The Pullman would be silly as the one way trip is only a little less than four hours, which you could certainly stand. The cost on this basis is about $9.00, both ways. Far be it from me to tell and old railroad man how to travel, but you better check into it more carefully. Anyhow, I may make it the other way later on, if it is convenient for you. Would you be interested in a $5.40 ticket to the fair for only $3.50? The RCA is getting them for us, and I am allowed two. I shall get both, I believe, as they are “bearer” style, and if you can’t use them, someone else probably can. I shall probably use one book myself, although possibly not. Lemme know.
You may not know it, but there was an ominous pause in the center of the above paragraph. I have had tummy trumbles all afternoon. I took a glass of Bock beer for supper, followed by one of soda water. You may not know it but that is the most effective dose known. For a few minutes, I didn’t know whether or not I’d make it. The only trouble with it is that it gives NO warning at all. Whew! I did make it—barely.
Fb on the studies. When you finish, in all seriousness, you will have had the basic courses of a college ed. Why don’t you quit imagining yourself as too old for it and work towards a degree? It will pay good money, and a lot of satisfaction. (see back of Johny’s letter for second page)
I have a hell of a lot of letters to get out, and only one envelope. So you know who will get the letter. I got one from Jim Hope, last years “room-mate” on Saturday. He says that they are tearing hell out of Purdue and putting up new buildings all over the place. The size of the Union has been doubled. They are building a music hall which is larger than that at Radio City! Maybe by the time we get there, they will have a reasonable set-up. Well, more of that when we get there.
Apparently the San Fran Fair stamps are something not out in many places. You might look at them carefully, and forget them. I got them in NY last week. They’ve probably been on sale in Chi for months or something.
Haw haw. I have five pictures of my baby now. Goody!
Got a pair of perfectly horrible cords Saturday. They are natural color, a sick orange, but they are damn tough and are designed for hunting. They will work out well for hiking and should last the rest of my life. They cost only $4.50 at Wannamaker’s. Do you know where the founder got his name? He was an early explorer, and every time he found a good looking Indian gal, with pretty little breasts draped out in front, he was heard to remark under his breath, “wanamaker.” Ever after that, the family went by that name.
Wanamaker’s Department StoreWanamaker’s Department Store
Darling, we didn’t do anything this summer, but it was much better than the bleak nothing that we now have. You had better wear a tin corset the first time I see you, as I shall probably squish you in half with the first dozen hugs.
I am enclosing a letter to John which you can enclose with your next shipment of correspondence. “Shipment” is the correct word. Boy, now I see where my paper has been going. Yep, honey, I must like you.
Did Doc and I have fun raking our Purdue enemies over the coals over the week-end. Gossip doesn’t start to touch the real situation.
I must stop for final this time. I have to answer Hope’s letter and John’s, copy of which appears on the back of this sheet.
Devotedly your infant, Cy.
P.S. I feel fine now, so turn off the worry machine.
Editor’s note: On 3/15/39, Nazi Germany invaded Czechoslovakia.
3/15/39
Darling:
Yippee! Payday! Now I can eat again. I was down to my last $15 which wasn’t too terrible, but I was nevertheless glad to see the eagle walk.
Didn’t get your Saturday night letter until Tuesday anyhow. We’ve been having a hell of a lot of rain around here also. I got caught in a small cloud burst this noon, but discretion got the better part of valor and I ended up in a doorway. I think that an occasional show will help you a lot, especially funny ones. In fact, I think it is an awful good idea. In fact—aw, hell, you get what I’m driving at, hi.
Tell Conk I’ll brain him if I don’t get pictures, or at least a picture, of Betty. After all, I was practically in attendance at her birth! Thinking as much of Jo and Bill as I do, I almost feel paternal—or is it grandpaternal—about the two kids. You might remind him that he owes me a letter for this year, as well as several dozen from past years.
What else is new here? Oh, yes, I bought two more books. Honey, you probably will want to choke me, as they are more Wodehouse. The titles are Brinkley Manor and The Week-end Wodehouse. I am half through the first and the second will soon be devoured. It isn’t terribly expensive, though, as they cost a little over three bucks for the pair. I generally stick to 50 cent editions, but I splurged a little this time.
I was a good boy last evening. Do you remember that problem I spend so much time on for Wells-G* last summer, the one upon which I put in three weeks of solid calculating machine work? Well, I have another one of more general interest which covers exactly the same thing, although it is different mechanically. Mathematically, they are the same problem. There is little chance of solution, but it will be terribly useful if I can figure out a practical method of attack on the problem other than cut-and-try, which is the present method. I spent about four hours yesterday evening trying to beat out the answer. About ten, I gave up and went walking. After tossing three beers down the hatch in 15 minutes time, I went slumming. Honey, when I drink beer, I need your restraining influence. After wandering around the slums, which aren’t essentially different from those of other cities, I stopped in a hamburger joint. Don’t laugh, but when I asked for chili, they had never heard of it. The same thing was found in several other restaurants. There is little difference between the Greek joints here and in the middle west. The waitresses are not all there mentally and can probably be had for little price, the customers are always talking about the big deal they are about to pull off which will release them from all future work, and the proprietors are busy devising schemes of giving both the landlord and the customers less.
Sfunny, I believe today is the first day since I arrived that I didn’t get any mail. But my darling has been so darned good to me in the past three weeks that I could probably miss a week without losing sleep over it—better not test out this statement, or I’ll club you! Seriously, though, you have been fine. As you know, because of what has happened in the past, I was a little afraid to leave you just when I did. But I realize now how foolish I was. No one could write the completely unselfish letters you do and be other than wildly in love. In case you haven’t guessed it, I’m kind of proud of the gal I got. And I still think that I’m the first one who ever really “got” her—this going in every respect.
It takes me a total of about a minute to put the return address on the envelope and the letter. This is equivalent to about 2 cents. So I am going down this afternoon and have some letter heads and envelopes turned out. I suppose I shall get about 200. The letter-heads will be similar to Aikens, with my name and address in small type in the center of the page. The envelopes will merely have the address on the back flap. They both will be the same size as I now use, and on the same grade of paper. They should save time, and make my letters look a good deal better, both personal and business.
Well, darling, it looks like I may spend a week-end at home this week. Perhaps I shall get some work done, who knows. I don’t know how RCA is on fiction writing, but if I write under another name, which I would do for fiction anyhow, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Any technical writing which I do will have to go through a bunch of red tape.
Gotta go, baby girl. Take care of yourself, because you must—for me. 35 more days until, just a little more than a month. How are the finances? I don’t want anything to get in the way of starting things as soon as possible (19th). I wouldn’t say anything about it to anyone barring Doris & Cliff, Fritz & Dorothy, and Wayne, until after it is all over. That will give your maw and the battle-axe as little warning as possible. Darling, I don’t see how they can stop anything, but keep me posted of all events. The old gray matter is yet active enough to be of some potential use in a jam. That’s where it was educated.
Love, Cy with more love than I can express.
*I believe he is referring to Wells-Gardner Electronics
I rather haven’t expected too much mail from you this week because if my calendar coincides with yours, it is about time and things. Sorry I can’t be there to hold your little head when it hurts.
Glad to hear that the first half of the Webb business is over. OK on the personal test. Take it easy, he’s done dozens of other females the same way. But don’t let him get his thermometer mixed up with anything else, hi. So you ups and fainted, why honey! I can’t imagine you fainting! But I saw one of the boilermaker feetsball players do the same thing from the same cause once. So I guess I can’t blame a little bitsy girl like you for it.
Cashed my check today and did a number of worthy things. I sent out $11 to Louisville to cover the cost of my eye exam and glasses. Also, don’t faint again, plopped $40 into a Postal Savings account. This left me $38 in cash, which should hold me over to payday. When I get $100 clear, I shall start paying back cousin John. But I would like to have that much first just in case. Went through more red tape on the postal job than when I joined the Navy.*
I’ve been corresponding with the patent department about signing a patent waiver. I took exception to one of the clauses and deleted it. Went over there today, and as soon as they found that I was trying to protect patent rights for the companies for whom I have worked, rather than patent rights for any personal work, they became most friendly. They said that it was almost a new experience to have anyone consider the company for whom they worked. They are making out a special waiver which will keep both of us happy.
Because we have been held up on parts for the receiver upon which I am to work, I have been helping out with the mechanical design of the thing. As a circuit engineer, I am not supposed to know anything about the mechanical end, but I seem to have established somewhat of a reputation for mechanical brainstorms. Really, I have done nothing other than apply some of the experience I have had in the past. This will remove most of the bugs (that I can foresee) before the set gets into production, where most of the bugs are generally removed. Gunther, who is head of the division in which I work, was most pleased about one innovation from Scott, and it will probably find wide application on future designs. I believe I am safe in saying that I have not disappointed anyone, and I hope that I can go even further (but in circuit work, not mechanical).
Just as I was putting the finishing touches to BrinkleyManor last evening, Al Howell called. He wants me to come to dinner there tomorrow night and take in the Philadelphia Forum after that. Apparently it is in one of the ultra-ultra neighborhoods (his home) as the people with whom I stay uttered some of those awed little gasps when I replied to their questions about its location. As I shall not be home until too late to write and have it get to you this week-end, this will have to hold you until Monday. The next letter you get won’t be on my new stationary, but the one after that will. I hope we like it. The trouble is that about the time I get ¼th through it, I will move or something and the address will be screwy. That is why I only got 200 of the letter-head and same amount of envelope.
Well, Darling, it is about dinner time. I haven’t done so well on this letter, but I have been terribly tired all day. It was raining cats and poodles last night and I stayed in all evening. Maybe that is what was wrong with me.
Say hello to the Huntoons and Doris and Cliff for me. You might breeze over to the former and stir up a little excitement for them. They probably miss JH and I messing up their household every once in a while, and Mary isn’t old enough to take over just yet.
Followed a pb** hairdo and figure like yours for about a block this afternoon. Same weight and everything. Walked a couple blocks out of my way to avoid passing it, because I knew the front view would spoil the illusion. There may be hairdo’s and figures that come close, but there’ll never be a face as sweet and
Illustration from original letter
beautiful as my darling’s is. There are also other forward features which can’t be duplicated. If you get what I mean. Tsk! Tsk! Just a masher at heart.
If the Webb affair should come out adverse to our best interests, take it on the chin and don’t worry. There isn’t anything that will develop quickly, and in the meantime, a complete cure can easily be effected. I am not in the least concerned, but being the pessimo-optimist that I am, I plan for the worst and expect the best.
I’m starved, precious. I wish I was eating with you tonight. Everything would taste so much more spicy, no matter what I was eating.
Would you be interested in BrinkleyManor? It is easy reading, and a honey. It is a grand mix-up of a would-be psychologist, always “helping” people (into bigger and better jams), his friends (a great variety) and the proper application of alcoholic lubrication at the right moments. I think you would get a kick out of it, even if by Wodehouse. If you want it, I can send it at a little cost, and it might while away some dull evenings.
Your baby, Cy.
*I believe this is an example of Buddy’s humor. He did not join the Navy, but we do know that The RCA was doing a lot of work on radio, radar and sonar for the Navy and the Coast Guard. His reference to the “Postal Job” appears to be a comment about setting up the Postal Savings account and I think he’s comparing the red tape of that with what he went through to get employed at The RCA.
I received your two precious letters yesterday just as I was leaving for Al’s for dinner, and realizing that you wouldn’t get the answer until Monday anyhow, I didn’t reply just then. It is after 5 P.M. the following day and I have just gotten in from last night’s dinner engagement!
OK on the Doc’s report of Tuesday. The low blood pressure, I believe, can be fixed by diet and rest. The pains, I hope, can be alleviated in some similar simple manner.
Honey! Please don’t ever try to kid me again, even on such a simple little thing as your hairdo. If you want to change it, you don’t have to ask my permission. And when you do change it, just say so. But please, darling, don’t kid me about it. I’ll always find out eventually and it hurts many times more that you didn’t tell me than if you told me and disagreed with me. But don’t let it worry you. I think I should like the new arrangement better than the old anyhow!
The phone call yet sounds good and I can not see any good reason for not doing it. I just hope that I can stand it.
The carbon copy business is simple. I suggested to John that if he and I sent carbon copies to you of our letters to each other and vice versa, that it would save a lot of explanation in our letters to the other party. I also said that I reserved the right to make deletions in his copy of the letters to you. But since I never think of using two carbons, the idea will probably flop as far as I’m concerned.
Now for the letter I received today.
I’m sure that the folks will understand your not getting there Thursday night.
Business before pleasure—When you see Webb on Tuesday, find out everything about the tb business and x-rays and probable cost—and let me know the entire story. If there is anything at all wrong, you may not be able to afford to do anything about it just now—but we can’t afford not to do everything that we can possibly handle between us. I realize that the test was of the variety that told you definitely that you didn’t have it with one result, but only indicated that you might have it with the other result. We must find out definitely as soon as possible.
There are two points which I feel that I should make, and truly want to make, at this point.
The first one, which is probably unnecessary, I shall mention in case you should have become frightened. I have suspected the possibility of tb ever since I first met you. I am a fool for not making you look into years ago, and if anything is wrong, I shall never forgive myself until it is all straightened out. But when I asked you to combine your life with mine, I meant it without ANY restrictions whatsoever. I can only exist without you—I can live with you. No matter what comes up, darling, I am definitely yours, and have lived a lie, and not a very pretty one, during the years that I was not openly yours. I know that I shouldn’t write such things at the present time, but I want you to know them and be sure of them. Never be frightened that I won’t provide for you to the best of my ability.
The second point is this. I can’t stand to feel that I don’t know the entire story on anything connected with your well-being. It isn’t curiosity, but I suppose it is sort of a “paternal” concern. You’ve been my own little girl for so long that I am afraid I could never be happy when you weren’t happy and safe and sound. So let me know all developments in this little business, as well as the result of the Wasserman test. Since this other has turned out the way it has, I have no fear of the latter turning out positive. But don’t kid me about anything in this line. It can only lead to unhappiness for both of us if you do.
That is rather strong talk. I wouldn’t talk to anyone but myself and my wife that way. But it is the old story that we discovered so many years ago. Together, we can lick any opposition. Alone, you are an ordinary little girl usually afraid of you just don’t know what—I am a drunken dreamer, puffed up with my own importance. We must never be separated again for any reason.
Now for more pleasant work. Precious, I love you so much that nothing can stop me from having you. We must carry on together. It has been very flattering and very swell to have such a staunch little side-kick the last eleven months. I don’t know what little girls are made of, but mine is an awfully good medicine for this dopey guy.
The dinner was fine last night. Howells live in one of the sloozy suburbs, although it is probably not a bit more nice than Glen Ellyn or Wheaton. Al and I went to the Philadelphia Forum and heard a lecture by Dr. Knight, an Englishman, on eagles. He took a trip for the National Geographic into Africa to study one of the types there, and illustrated his lecture by motion pictures, still pictures, and slides of terribly funny sketches which he drew. The climax came at the end of the lecture, when he had the lights turned up—and there was the eagle which he captured as a baby just a little over a year ago—thing did tricks and everything—about 4 foot wingspread. He was an awfully good lecturer and I enjoyed it muchly. We then went back to Howells, Al insisted that I spend the night with him, and hit the straw about midnight. This morning, we woke up about eleven and spend an hour in bed. He read me part of a novel which he wrote for a graduate course at Penn State. It was excellent, and I believe I can talk him into rewriting parts of it and submitting it one of the magazines for publication. After lunch, we window-shopped in Philly, spending most of the time in Wanamakers.
Wanamaker’s Department Store Philadelphia, PA
Gee, I missed you. I got back here about an hour ago. I don’t know what I’ll do about the rest of the weekend—probably study or something. I may take a hike in the morning if I feel like it.
Al’s father is apparently dead. His mother is quite a sweet person, and they are all intelligent. They are taking a trip to Havana in a couple of weeks, Al’s spring vacation (he teaches English and French in one of the high schools). Also taking a trip abroad this summer.
Well, precious, I must hi me out to supper. Don’t forget that you owe me some pictures of the new hairdo! Haw haw. You got stung on that deal, didn’t you. I don’t know what I would have done at Aiken’s last week and Al’s this week without my two snapshots of my baby. I have two at home and two with me.
Still your best friend, your lover, your true husband. Cy
