Author’s historical note: On 2/4/38 Hitler seized control of the German army and put Nazis in key posts.
2/5/38 Original letter from Marty
Cy, my dear:
Your letter received about 5 min. ago and I have put away my sewing and hasten to answer—knowing I cannot mail this until after Bill gets paid tomorrow nite (we’re that strapped this time) unless my sis—in law should come up. We loaned her a little so maybe—this can be mailed sooner.
May I say that if Margaret should read this I am in no way against her. As usual Marty understands—and will say what I honestly feel and think to the best of my ability.
For the situation in Margaret’s house—you know the story of my home life. My sympathies are with her, of course.
I am not familiar with the law of Indiana (don’t go out of the state) but I believe they are more lenient than most. A license must be obtained in the same county one intends to be married in. It is necessary to give your age—birth date—full names, parents names, sometimes their birthplace, Mother’s maiden name. It isn’t necessary for her to be with you—tho it is a good idea. It may be a law in Indiana tho. There is a fee for the license. Varies in cities and counties, also you have to go to the county seat for the license I believe.
For a J.P. office—usually 2 witnesses—there are some states require 4. Would be a stenographer handy & possibly someone from another office. More customary to have your own friends.
Now Cy, Margaret could lie about her age, of course having to alter the date of her birth correctly, but do I have to tell you that it is possible legally for her parents to cause the marriage to be annulled & cause much unpleasantness for both of you. And believe you me, parents can cause pulenty of trouble & that’s on good first hand knowledge—you know that.
Then, Cy-dear, I am going to say just suppose you couldn’t get the kind of job that would pay you enough for two. Don’t let anyone kid you that 2 can live as cheaply as 1. That goes on some counts but not all. You’ve always had work & a fair salary, but you know when you need it most, something gums up the works. (Just remember that infants cost money too).
My dear, I haven’t told anyone this, not even Bill, cause I know it hurts him too. I try not to say anything, you know, I’m not much for looks, but I used to try to keep my clothes & myself looking nice. Well, I still have enough to wear but, I don’t put up the appearance I used to. I know that as soon as we can afford it I’ll be able to again, but I’m telling you, it’s no fun to feel that you look like hell, especially when any woman knows (oh oh, here’s my sis) that she should keep up her appearance more after she’s married than before.
Have you thought of all the money it’s costing you for your education? Why not finish & get set in a job? Perhaps Margaret can get a job when she graduates. If she’s not trained for anything, how about her persuading her family to give her a six months business course. Later she could get a job, then if things weren’t better she could go on her own, and at 18, perhaps on her 18th birthday you two could go ahead and get married. Real love won’t fly out the window. It would give you both something to work for.
Perhaps if you finish school and get a job, just a year and a half, her folks would give their consent & do all kinds of nice things for you.
I’m hoping that you will take the following as I mean it. Will try to make myself clear as possible. Don’t sacrifice yourself to your sympathies! Do you get it? Once, a long time ago, the first person I fell in love with asked me to marry him. He had just graduated & I was 17, still in school. I told him “no” because we were too young. But I really felt that because he was sympathetic, in view of my home life, and because I felt I would be trying to escape a bad situation at someone else’s expense, I said “no”. Yes, I loved him, and later nearly married him, but he had opportunities to take other things, and of course, we grew apart and you know the rest of the story. But I proved my point to myself at any rate. The thought I had in mind when I said “no” would have been true. It wouldn’t have been fair to him or myself.
Be sure, my dear, and if you can, avoid all possible angle of parental trouble and interference.
If Margaret is all mixed up and would like to write me (sometimes it’s easier to tell a stranger things than one’s friends—and safer) I would be glad to hear from her.
Have I been any help—I don’t say do or don’t. I’ve merely written as I think.
Had best go mail this before it decides to rain.
Please let me know the answer soon, good luck, as ever.
Sincerely, Marty